The Wicked Witch

932 days ago

In defence of Tony Blair on tax as the jackals of the Tory press smear the old war criminal

I am no fan of Tony Blair. I view him as a war criminal and believe that what he did as Prime Minister in the Cool Britannia era was largely a disaster. His business dealings stink, all in all, he is a total rotter as is his utterly ghastly wife, the Wicked Witch. However, folks like Andrew Pierce of the Daily Mail are harassing the old scumbag today on grounds that are simply wrong.

---

2625 days ago

Tom Winnifrith Postcard: say what you like about Tony Blair he can, like no other, unite the Nation - We all hate him

Tony Blair has weighed into the Brexit debate with a speech that has demonstrated why, with the possible exception of Mr Rolf Harris, he has an unrivalled ability to unite the nation. We all despise him and indeed his whole wretched family. In today's postcard look at into why this is and what the old war criminal actually said why that is just so utterly wrong and indeed nauseating, at every level. Warning: this audio contains mention of Mr Blair having sex with the Wicked Witch, a thought some listeners may find disturbing.

---

3826 days ago

Who should be burned as an effigy on your bonfire tonight? Kate McCann? President Assad or Obama? Polly Toynbee?

As we start to discover the latest damning revelations about sleazy MPs and their expense fiddles it seems harsh to burn an effigy of poor old Guy Fawkes tonight. He was the last man to enter Parliament with honest intentions. So whose effigy should it be?

Judging by the comments on my latest article on the McCann parents about half the population think that an effigy of Kate McCann should be burned. About the other half seem to believe that anyone who dares say a word about the sainted McCann’s should be burned. Forget effigies they should actually be burned.

Which is the bigger war criminal? President Assad or President Obama or for that matter Tony Blair? What about en effigy of Polly Toynbee – the old witch has been poisoning the body politic with her muddle headed thoughts for years, she has to be a contender.

Me? I am just too much of a nice guy. I am more worried about how the cats will react to the fireworks than whose effigy should be burned. But there are many folks more deserving of the effigy treatment than poor old Guy Fawkes.

Oh, ok...you push me. For her unique contriubution to driving through insane human rights legislation, for her vile condoning of Hamas, for supporting her war criminal of a husband, for being a filthy freeloader and for being wrong on every great issue and sanctimoniuous with it, for her sheer avarice ...I'd burn an effigy of the Wicked Witch herself, Ms Cherie Blair.

---

3931 days ago

The Royal baby – do I care? And Peter Tatchell who I admire greatly

And so the royal baby is born and I wonder do I really care? Do I understand the hysteria? I have to admit that I just cannot make up my mind on the monarchy although I respect the Old Queen greatly. But more on Peter Tatchell later.

As a meritocrat I can see no earthly reason why I should believe in monarchy. It is an anachronism. However when I consider who we would have had as a head of state had there been no monarch I quickly get out the bunting and start singing God Save The Queen. President Heath? President Kinnock? President Wicked Witch? I will stick with the current set up thank you.

If I am in any doubt as to where I stand I simply look at the terrible deluded and embittered lefties wheeled out by the BBC and The Guardian to celebrate the Royal Birth by saying we should abolish the monarchy. If Polly Toynbee

---

3967 days ago

Friday Caption Contest on a Sunday – Wendi Deng Edition

News that 147 year old media mogul Rupert Murdoch is to divorce his stunning 44 year old wife of 14 years Wendi Deng has got the media speculating. I would naturally cover it in the style of a Murdoch paper: facts wrong, extreme sensationalism and with no pretence of balance.

And so naturally one wonders what, fifteen years ago, attracted the phew what a scorcher Ms Deng to the filthy old man then aged only 133? But what folks are wondering now is why the split? Already Tony Blair’s office has had to state that the old war criminal is not having an affair with Wendi. Heck, if you were married to the Wicked Witch what could possibly make you want to stray?

And so this week there is again no prize on offer other than glory and a chance to be rude about figures who ask for it but post your captions for the picture below in the comments section by midnight on Friday.

PIC RUPE & WENDI

For what it is worth my entry is:

“That rare entity… a working couple who have not been screwed by Tony Blair”

---

4003 days ago

The Wicked Witch (Cherie Blair) pisses away US taxpayer’s cash big time

It is not just the UK foreign aid budget that is a joke. Under the auspices of the vile Clinton woman US foreign aid spending clearly also out of control. One of the war criminal Blair’s charities picked up £550,000 in 2011 but in 2012 it was the Wicked Witch herself who trousered it big time picking up a donation of £405,000 from the grateful US taxpayer for one of her charities.

Accounts for the year to Oct 31 2012 show that the Cherie Blair Foundation for Women enjoyed an income of £1.8million, and almost doubled its staff in 12 months, from six to 11.

The charity has cash in the bank of almost £1.5 million. Its wage bill rose from just over £258,000 in 2011 to £437,000 in 2012. But bear in mind that staff numbers rose during 2012 and thus the total wage bill is now likely to be running at an annualised rate of at last £500,000. Chuck in employers NI and we are heading towards £575,000. The firm uses Farrar’s (the most expensive law firm in London) to do its legal work and it has luxury offices overlooking Hyde Park. How much is spent on marketing? How much on other admin expenses?

The Wicked Witch boasts that it is helping women entrepreneurs out in Africa. Sure. But I wonder what percentage of every £1 the US taxpayer and other mugs send in how much actually goes to help female entrepreneurs out in bongo bongo land? 50%? I doubt it.

The reality

---

4132 days ago

Silvio Berlusconi, sex and the politics of the absurd

Two political stories from yesterday (hat tip The Commentator) that made me smile. Both concern sex. I start with Silvio Berlusconi who is apparently still hoping for a political comeback. I wonder if even he is vaguely embarrassed by reports that he called Germany’s leader Angela Merkel an “unfuckable lard-arse.” I suspect he would simply plead that it was fair comment. Am I alone in saying that Silvio’s buffoonery is quite entertaining? Sure he is a corrupt old sleazebag but he is an Italian politician so what else do you expect?

Closer to home I see that a Worcester disability campaigner Chris Fulton is demanding that the British Government pay for him to have sex with prostitutes, something that the Dutch Government already does. In Amsterdam, the disabled can have Government funded sex with a hooker up to 12 times a year and Mr Fulton (who has cerebral palsy and motor neurone disease) reckons that this would give him more freedom and allow him to break down barriers. ““The idea is to give disabled people more of a choice. There’s still a lot of stigma attached [to disabled people having relationships] from research I’ve done and experiences I’ve had.”

Hell’s teeth. Government’s across Europe are going bust so why not go out (economically speaking) with a bang? I am sure that in denying Mr Fulton his State funded shagging we are breaching his human rights. Can’t he get legal aid to hire the oh so charitable wicked witch CBE to take his case to the European Court? Perhaps Mrs. Blair could get him huge compensation for the stress caused by having to fund his “research” on this matter.

I wonder what Berlusconi’s take on Mr Fulton’s case would be? Or if he has any views on the Wicked Witch?

---

4159 days ago

Breaching the “human rights” of an oppressed minority – greedy and sleazy MPs. My Heart bleeds

Whenever the words “breach of human rights” comes up your blood boils. Whether it is the terrorist who you cannot deport because it would upset the life of his family (a cat), the Somali pirate or Rwandan mass murderer whose ‘uman rights would be compromised if he had to go back home to face justice or whether it is the thought of the wicked witch whose Chambers promoted this daft legislation and has grown rich on it, my blood always boils. Aaaagh Cherioe Blair what did we do as a nation to deserve you?

But now there is another oppressed and unloved minority whose human rights are, they claim, set to be breached. I refer to a group of men and women even less loved than that other great ‘human rights beneficiary Abu Qatada. I speak of course of expense grubbing greedy MPs.

The expenses watchdogs wants MPs who used taxpayers cash to buy a second home to rent out to hand back any profits made over the past two years. I cannot see what is the problem with that. It was our (i.e. the taxpayers capital) that funded these entrepreneurial ventures, we should get the profits. About 70 MPs are affected and are now threatening legal action to stop this happening.

---

4190 days ago

No Effigy on the Fire tonight – who would you put there?

I strode in, and as I suspected, amongst the middle class lefties present at this bonfire night I was the only poppy wearer I could see. One nil to me. It was a good bonfire and some of fireworks zipped away as they would in a Harry Potter film. There was a chair on top of the bonfire but no effigy. I assume the deluded lefties did not wish to offend catholics or any other minority present. I was mildly surprised that Call Me Dave was not burned tonight. Perhaps Jimmy Savile could have been sent up in flames. In paedo obsessed Britain surely that would have met with popular acclaim?

I suggested to the various deluded lefties present that next year they might burn an effigy of Polly Toynbee or the Wicked Witch herself. Naturally I was accused of sexism.

---

4285 days ago

The Blair Experience – Have Not Albanians suffered enough?

I celebrated becoming one of the top 18 million most followed folks on twitter (titter ye not, after 7 weeks I have way more than the mean number of followers) by wandering off in search of the Mosque here in Sarande. More on that tomorrow but it was hard to find and I kept ending up at the synagogue (ruined for 1500 years). Perhaps that tells you something. Eventually, post Mosque, I got lost again and found myself at the tourist office where I enquired about buses to Butrint, my next stop and how I go from there to Zitsa. The place was also a bookshop and so I had a butchers. Dad, sorry to report that none of your Albanian epics are on sale.

Prominently displayed was Mein Kampf in both German and Albanian. What is the market for Hitler’s crazed blueprint for a Nazi world among Albanian speakers? I hope that it is rather small. And which Germans want a copy? Does that guy giving the interesting salute to the Kraut team at the Olympic opening ceremony, holiday in Albania and feel the need to brush up on the basics of racial purity? The mind boggles, but both versions were positioned where you could not avoid seeing them.

Under Hoxha the Albanians were not allowed any exposure to Western media bar the films of the late Norman Wisdom, known here as “Pitkin.” As far as I can see Wisdom only had one joke.

---